


Just Say You Won't Let Go

by thehonorlord



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Minor Character Death, POV Keith (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Post-Season/Series 03, Season 3, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 01:24:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11956776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehonorlord/pseuds/thehonorlord
Summary: Set during and post-season 3.“If you swear to never leave me, I won’t leave you either.” It feels childish, like a promise between 10-year-olds in a treehouse rather than between two practically-adults in the middle of an intergalactic war. It’s irrational because neither of them are in control of their fates. But Keith knows it’s the right thing to say.As Keith adjusts to being the leader of Voltron, Lance is right by his side.





	Just Say You Won't Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> I actually planned (and wrote) some of this fic before season three dropped but the season was so good, I reworked my idea around it.
> 
> The minor character death tag is for a later chapter and I'm still not even sure if I'm going to write it in but I put it in preemptively in case it really bothers anyone.
> 
> Special shout-out to Zee for beta-reading this <33

After Thayserix, Lance finds Keith curled up in the observation deck with his head in his hands, fingers clenched tightly in his hair. Lance sits next to him, a healthy amount of space between them, with his back against the wall and facing the window glowing with incomprehensible stats. Keith acknowledges him with a flicker of a glance but his heart leaps into his throat despite himself. For a long while, Lance doesn’t speak and Keith doesn’t encourage him.

“We’ve had a long couple of days,” Lance says eventually. “You should get some rest.”

A long couple of days is an exaggeration; thanks to Keith’s ‘leadership’, Lance and Hunk are coming off of three consecutive battles with only stolen naps during downtimes here and there. The guilt settles in Keith’s chest and he winces. “You need some just as much as I do.”

“I know,” Lance says immediately. “But someone has to look out for you too.” He smiles wryly. “Can’t have our leader collapsing of exhaustion, can we?”

Keith’s stomach does a backflip and then several more. On one hand, Lance’s presence makes him acutely aware of Shiro’s absence; his mentor-slash-brother-figure was the only one who ever checked up on him. On the other, much more trivial, hand, it’s _Lance_ , the boy he’s butted heads with ever since he’s met him, the boy who draws Keith’s eyes whenever he’s in the room.

“Don’t call me that,” Keith eventually says, when his insides have stopped performing acrobatics.

“What, leader?” Lance sighs. He tilts his head back and it hits the wall with a soft thump. “You know, you’re not bearing the mantle yourself. Allura still calls most of the shots and all of us are here to back you up. We don’t expect you to be Shiro.”

Keith lets his hands drop and he leans back against the wall like Lance. “No, I know,” Keith lies. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He lets his eyes slide close and concentrates on the steady rhythm of Lance’s breath, syncing up their breathing.

“You shouldn’t keep everything bottled up,” Lance says suddenly. Keith opens his eyes and turns his head to meet Lance’s gaze. “Trust me, it’s not good.”

Keith wants to protest and to call Lance out on his hypocrisy because he’s noticed when Lance withdraws into himself and when flickers of unwanted emotions cross his face. Instead Keith sighs. “I know. I’m just not used to talking to anyone who isn’t Shiro. And even then,” Keith laughs wryly, turning away from Lance. “I’ve never told him everything.”

Lance hums. “I can understand that.” _At least he admits it_ , Keith thinks. “I know I’m not Shiro and I know we haven’t been the chummiest of people—” Keith snorts. “—but if you want, you can try talking to me. Or anyone else. We’re a team now and you should feel like it’s okay to tell us stuff.”

_Hypocrite._

Keith sneaks a glance back at Lance but Lance is looking out the window, his eyes roaming over the stats that he can’t understand. It wasn’t that Keith was surprised that Lance could be this serious or deep unprompted. He just never thought he’d ever get the privilege of seeing that side of Lance.

Keith must look really bad.

“Okay,” Keith says and Lance blinks in surprise, clearly not expecting Keith to agree. He isn’t the only one; Keith is surprised at himself too. His mouth seemed to move of its own accord, but that was how his whole life worked. Act before thinking.

“Cool,” Lance says, shrugging and clearly trying to be nonchalant about it. “Cool.”

Keith has experienced a lot of awkward moments in his life, being who he is, but this might be the worst.

Keith looks down at his hands, opening and clenching them into fists. “There’s a lot I don’t tell Shiro,” he begins. “When I started suspecting I might be Galra, I never said anything to him, but I think he knew something was up. He never pushed it though.”

“What happened at the Blade of Marmora headquarters, anyways? It’s just, you never really told us any details,” Lance adds hurriedly at Keith’s furrowed eyebrows. “You kinda dropped the whole bomb about the Galra heritage thing and left it at that.”

Keith half-shrugs. “I didn’t really want to talk about it either, especially with Allura… you know.” Lance nods.

“If you don’t want to—”

“No, I do,” Keith cuts in before Lance can finish. “Just let me figure out what I want to say.” Lance promptly shuts up, tugging his sleeves over his hands in what Keith had heard Lance once tell Hunk were ‘sweater paws’. It’s adorable.

“During the trial—you know the one they forced me to take—during that, I saw my dad. When I was ten, my dad suddenly disappeared without warning. He’s presumed dead now, at least officially. I’m not sure if I ever believed it, to be honest, so to see him again, even if it was just a vision…”

“I never knew.”

“How could you? It’s not like I go around telling everyone about my tragic past.” It’s supposed to come out as a joke but it falls flat. The corner of Lance’s mouth twitches up into half a smile anyway and Keith appreciates it.

“Quiznak, that would fuck anyone up,” Lance says.

The use of ‘fuck’ and its alien substitute in the same breath amuses Keith for some reason and he lets out a short laugh as he stretches out his legs. Lance frowns at him. _Oops_. Making Lance feel bad is definitely not Keith’s plan.

“There was something else before that though,” Keith continues. He hadn’t planned on sharing this but the guilt of possibly making Lance feel insecure prompts him to. “I saw Shiro too, in my vision. He… he called me selfish and left me. Just walked away. Kolivan told me afterwards that the trial showed me my greatest wishes and fears. I guess Shiro just leaving…” Keith’s voice cracks. “I guess it’s one of my biggest fears.”

“Shiro would never do that!” Lance protests, leaning forward. “At least not to y—” He cuts himself off, snapping his mouth closed. He sinks back into his original position.

 _Not to me._ A maelstrom of emotions descend on Keith and starts to overwhelm him but in the back of his mind, he thinks, _But he can’t possibly think Shiro would do that to_ him _?_

Then the first wave of anger, something Keith is intimately familiar with, crashes over him and pulls him under. “But he did though, didn’t he? Leave me behind?” Keith digs his nails into his palms. If it weren’t for his gloves, he’d break skin. That was why Shiro bought them for him in the first place. “He left me behind, just like my mom, my dad, every single fucking foster family I’ve had and just like he did a year ago at the Garrison!” His voice raises to a shout by the end of the sentence and it echoes in the room. He blushes and shrinks back. He knows he’s being unfair. “Sorry, I just—”

“Don’t be.” Lance’s hand spasms like he wants to comfort Keith but he stops himself and runs the hand through his hair instead. Keith tries not to be disappointed and tries not to remember how Lance’s hand had felt through his armour when he’d clasped Keith’s shoulder just the other day. “I told you to let it out and it’s good you did.” He smiles. “And not going to lie, it’s good to see you’re not, like, fearless.”

Keith blinks. “You thought I was fearless?”

“I mean, yeah, kinda?” Lance looks away, staring out of the window. His skin glows under the fluorescent writing on the window. “You always rush into things without a thought and you’re always the one to say we should stand and fight, you know? Like you wanted to go after Zarkon and you just fucking ran after Lotor, looking for a fight. I really was starting to think you weren’t scared of anything.”

“I’m still _human_ ,” Keith says before realizing that it’s not entirely true but Lance turns to meet Keith’s eyes before he can correct himself. Keith hadn’t realized he’d been staring. He finds that he can’t tear his gaze away from him.

“Yeah,” Lance says softly. “Yeah, you are.”

Something about the way Lance looks at him, the same way he’d looked at Keith after they’d beat Sendak, with Keith’s hand wrapped tightly around Lance’s, fans the quiet, slumbering attraction Keith harboured for the other boy into a fully-fledged flame. Keith’s next breath catches in his throat and he prays that Lance doesn’t notice his sudden epiphany: Keith could definitely one day fall in love with this beautiful, flawed, so-very-much human boy.

“I won’t leave you.” Lance snaps Keith out of his thoughts.

“Huh?” Keith says dumbly and Lance laughs. His entire world has just been shifted off-axis and Lance expects him to respond intelligibly? Ridiculous.

Lance’s smile is warm. “You’re afraid of people leaving you, right?” Keith chews on his bottom lip. He’d never thought about it that way but… yes. Yes, that’s what he’s afraid of. “So am I,” Lance admits and Keith is suddenly sure he is the only one Lance has ever told this to. He intends to guard this piece of Lance jealously. “Almost irrationally, I guess. Although, after Blue…”

Keith’s heart breaks. Before he can stop himself, he blurts out, “I won’t leave you either.” Lance’s mouth drops open slightly. “If you swear to never leave me, I won’t leave you either.” It feels childish, like a promise between 10-year-olds in a treehouse rather than between two practically-adults in the middle of an intergalactic war. It’s irrational because neither of them are in control of their fates. But Keith knows it’s the right thing to say because the tension in Lance’s shoulders that Keith’s never noticed (but must always have been there) dissipates and he laughs lightly.

“Thanks,” Lance says and to cement the juvenile nature of the promise, Lance holds out a pinky. Keith reaches out and tentatively wraps his own pinky around Lance’s. They shake on it.

It feels monumental.

“Get some rest, man,” Lance says, getting up and extending a hand. Keith takes it and Lance pulls him up. They stand toe-to-toe and face-to-face and Keith swears he can feel Lance’s breath on his cheek. Lance’s eyes scan his face. “You look like shit.” Lance swipes a thumb under Keith’s eyes and Keith forgets how to breathe. Then Lance takes Keith by the shoulders, spins him around and gently pushes him out of the room. “Come on, we both need sleep.”

Sleep feels impossible but after Lance drops him off at his bedroom with a gentle slap on the back, Keith finds himself sinking into his bed and drifting unconscious almost as soon as his head hits his pillow. 

* * *

When Keith wakes up, he heads towards the bridge and is surprised to see everyone already gathered there.

“You haven’t gotten a lot of sleep lately, so we decided to let you sleep in,” Allura tells him. Keith nods but he looks at Lance, who has the slightest hints of dark circles under his eyes. He probably needed more sleep too.

Kolivan steps forward and begins talking about Galra outposts that need to be shut down. Keith crosses his arms and tries to keep up. Meanwhile, Allura asks questions and comments with ease, looking the picture of a leader in control.

It should have been her. Keith wishes to God it was her.

Lance stands slightly behind Keith and Keith can feel his eyes on his back. He doesn’t turn around to acknowledge it but it reassures him.

Eventually they decide to tackle the closest outpost with a small team from the Blade of Marmora and Lance and Hunk. Meanwhile, Keith and Pidge will continue their search for their brothers and Allura will log some time in the training room.

“After all,” she says, holding up what Keith realizes with a jolt is the Blue Bayard. “I’ve got to get comfortable using this.” She smiles at Lance and the boy smiles back but Keith can see the effort it takes for him.

Allura and Kolivan leaves and Lance goes to follow but Keith stops him, grabbing his wrist. “Wait.” Pidge and Hunk exchange a look and scurry out of the room as Lance turns around to face Keith, an eyebrow raised. “You gave your bayard to Allura?”

Lance gently pulls his wrist out of Keith’s grasp and crosses his arms. “Yeah, she’ll need it to pilot Blue.” The look he gives Keith clearly reads of the ‘ _duh_ ’ he doesn’t say.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Keith asks. Lance furrows his eyebrows. “How were you expecting to take out a Galra outpost without a weapon?”

Lance shrugs. “I was planning on just taking a blaster from the armory. We have one of those.”

Keith rolls his eyes. “Idiot.” He takes Lance’s wrist again, draws his bayard and presses it into Lance’s hand. “This is yours. It belongs to you, now, you know.” Keith’s fingers trail against Lance’s hand before he drops it. “You can’t expect to be able to stay by my side, if you can’t even defend yourself.” Maybe referencing a promise made while they were both delirious with exhaustion wasn’t smart, but Keith wants to make sure Lance remembers making it.

Lance cradles the bayard with both hands and stares at it reverently, his thumb running over the spot where Keith has had his thumb more times than he can count. His eyes flicker to meet Keith’s for a second before darting back down to the bayard and activating it. A blaster materializes, looking like the carbon copy of his old one except red. It’s going to clash with his armour which seems like something that Lance would complain about but instead he looks up at Keith and says, “Thanks.”

“Take care of it,” Keith says. He swallows. “And Red.”

Lance deactivates the bayard and puts it away. “She misses you.”

“I miss her, too,” Keith admits and he means it beyond how much easier Red had been to fly. Red bounded across a galaxy to find him and tore apart the Blade’s headquarters when she thought he was in danger. The only other being to ever show that kind of devotion to him was Shiro.

He really was destined to lose everyone he cared about. The promise he made with Lance yesterday seems so foolish now.

Unable to stand being in the same room as him anymore, Keith clasps a hand on Lance’s shoulder. Lance jolts at the contact. “Good luck,” Keith says, squeezing Lance’s shoulder as he walks past him before dropping his hand and leaving Lance alone on the bridge. Keith supposes he has to dig up the Black Bayard now.

* * *

Keith picks a system in the same quadrant as the Galra outpost. Scouring the entire universe for one person puts the ‘needle in a haystack’ metaphor to shame and Keith doesn’t expect it to yield any results. But he’s not about to give up on Shiro.

Coran maintains a regular stream of chatter, occasionally stopping to check in on Pidge or to get in contact with Lance and Hunk. He gives Keith updates on their status and it’s nice, for the situation anyway.

“No sign of him here,” Keith says. He’s lost count of the number of times he’s said that. “Should I move on or come back to the castle?”

“Move on—oh wait, hold on. Incoming transmission from Lance.”

Keith’s blood runs cold; Coran is usually the one to contact them. Lance and Hunk rarely contact Coran during their liberation missions until they’ve completed it and there’s no way they’ve finished yet. “Coran, what’s going on? Are they okay?”

There’s a silence that stretches into eternity.

“You best get over there,” Coran says finally. “They’re a bit overwhelmed from the sounds of it.”

Keith has already pointed the Black Lion in their direction before Coran finishes speaking. Not for the first time, he growls in frustration, yelling, “Move _faster_.” It doesn’t help and Black seems to go slower for a second out of spite so Keith gives up trying. “Coran, tell me more about the situation.”

Coran hums. “It seems that there was a Galra cargo ship in the area when they attacked the outpost and came when the Galra there called for back-up. Lance and Hunk can’t reach their lions from where they are. I think they’ve been cornered into a room.”

“Why didn’t we know about this cargo ship _before_ we attacked the outpost?” Keith tries not to think about how it may have been his responsibility to check that as leader.

“It’s a _cargo ship_ , not a battleship,” Coran says, exasperated. “Cargo ships aren’t supposed to be used for fighting.”

“It’s the Galra!” Keith protests, maneuvering through an asteroid field and grunting when he accidentally knocks into one. “Everything they have is used for fighting!” Keith pauses as he bursts out of the asteroids. “Sorry, it’s not your fault,” he mutters.

Coran sighs a little. “It’s fine,” he says. He sucks in a larger breath. “You should be reaching them in a couple of doboshes. The cargo ship doesn’t have an ion cannon or fighters so Black should be enough to take it out.”

Keith nods. “Thanks Coran. Am I close enough to set up a comms link with Lance and Hunk?”

“Yup, I’ll get on that. I’ll link you in with the Blades as well.”

There’s a few ticks of silence before yelling pours through the comms. Keith winces.

“Kolivan, any bright ideas?” Lance’s voice yells. “We can’t hold them off forever!”

Keith grins. “You won’t have to!” he says.

“Keith!” The relief in Lance’s and Hunk’s voices is palpable.

“Can you hold off the Galra for a dobosh or two more?” Keith asks. “I’ll take out the cargo ship and I’ll come find you guys.”

“Please do,” Hunk says. “It looks like the cargo ship was carrying sentries and it feels like it’s providing a buffet of soldiers we have to take out.”

Keith nods, spotting the outpost on a decrepit planet. A cargo ship is docked to the outpost where there does indeed seem to be a never-ending line of sentries disembarking. “On it.”

He makes quick work of the cargo ship, Lance’s and Hunk’s shouts in the background fuelling his adrenaline. He leaps out of Black before the lion is fully docked onto the outpost and he races down corridors to where Lance and Hunk are, taking out the sentries in his way.

Over the comms a sharp shout of pain that sounds ripped out of someone’s throat comes through followed by Lance’s screech of, “ _Hunk!_ ”

“What happened?” Keith yells, rounding a corner and bursting onto a platform of a large room. Below him, he can spot the Blade and his fellow paladins fending off a group of sentries. “Lance, talk to me!”

“Hunk was shot, oh God, oh God, Hunk, buddy, stay with me.”

Keith wants nothing more than to jump down and rush at the sentries but he takes a second to think. _Patience yields focus_. “Lance, I’m coming down and we’re going to bring Hunk up onto this platform to get him out of the fire.” Keith sees Lance look up frantically before spotting him and nodding, giving him a thumbs up. Keith drops down with his jet pack, deflecting a shot or two aimed at him with his sword, and lands next to Lance who is trying to shoot while watching over Hunk at the same time. Hunk groans, a blaster wound on his abdomen and Lance whimpers.

Kolivan looks over at them. “Take the Yellow Paladin and we’ll cover from down here.” Keith nods, taking Lance by the shoulder.

“Come on, let’s get him out of here.”

Lance nods. Keith slips his arms under Hunk’s armpits and Lance takes his legs and together they lift him up. The Blade surges forward suddenly, distracting the sentries long enough to get Hunk onto the platform.

“Hunk, you still with me?” Lance asks as soon as they’ve landed.

Hunk groans. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Hang tight, big guy,” Keith says, patting Hunk’s shoulder before turning to Lance. “I’m gonna head back down. You stay here with Hunk.”

Lance frowns. “You need all the help you can get though,” he protests.

“You can provide covering fire from up here though,” Keith points out. “I’m a close range fighter.”

Lance glances doubtfully at the sentries on the ground. It is a bit far, Keith admits. “I don’t know…”

“Paladins!” Kolivan says. “We need your help.”

Keith clasps Lance’s shoulder. “I believe in you,” he says and without another word, Keith leaps off the platform, ignoring Lance’s protests. Keith rushes head first into the fray, slicing and stabbing his way through sentries.

He shouldn’t feel such a rush while fighting but Keith can’t always help what his Galra side wants.

A blast from above almost hits him and Keith yelps. “Lance!” he yells.

“Sorry!” Lance says, panic fringing his voice and Keith immediately feels bad. “It’s hard to aim from so far away! If I had a different wea—oh!”

Keith slashes a sentry about to shoot a Blade member. The Galra nods his thanks at Keith. “What happened, Lance?”

There’s a silence.

“That’s so cool, dude,” Hunk manages to wheeze out.

“My blaster turned into a sniper rifle!” Lance says in awe. Keith takes a second to look back and sure enough, Lance is holding a much longer, thinner gun.

Keith was wrong.

The red looks good on Lance.

He smiles.

A sentry in front of him falls to the ground, a shot smoking dead centre on its chest, snapping Keith out of his reverie.

“Pay attention, asshole!” Lance says. Keith flushes and jumps back into the battle.

Between the Blade, Keith, and Lance’s sniping, the rest of the sentries are taken care of quickly. Coran informs them that the castle is outside. They hurry back and hastily get Hunk into a healing pod. Hunk smiles weakly at them before he goes under and Keith heart clenches. He puts a hand on the glass. “You did well, Hunk,” he mutters. He hears Kolivan telling Coran, Allura and Pidge what happened in a low voice but he only has eyes for Lance, who is sitting on the floor in front of the pod, looking defeated.

“I should have been better,” Lance says when Keith takes a seat next to him.

Keith doesn’t miss a beat. “It’s not your fault.”

Lance jerks his head towards Coran and Allura. “They told us from the very beginning to have each other’s backs or else this might happen. If one of us gets hurt, it’s on the rest of us.” Keith frowns.

“This is war, Lance. It could’ve easily been you in there. _Again_.” Keith suppresses a shudder at the thought. The first time had been absolute hell, not knowing how thoroughly a healing pod would heal someone and watching Lance eerily suspended in it. Even now, knowing what a miracle these pods were, it’s unsettling to see Hunk’s usually lively face look so slack and sallow. “People are going to get hurt and it’s not anyone’s fault but the Galra Empire.” Lance continues staring at the spot of floor between his legs. “And besides,” Keith says in a last-ditch effort. “You did unlock a cool new weapon.”

That at least gets Lance to smile weakly at Keith. “With _your_ bayard.”

Keith smiles back and nudges Lance’s shoulder with his. “It’s yours now, remember?”

Lance looks down at his shoulder where Keith made contact and then looks up at him again, looking like he wants to say something before nodding and turning back to watch Hunk. Keith stares at Lance a little longer, eyes tracing over the dark eye circles and the furrow of his eyebrows.

“He’s not going to be done for a while,” Keith says eventually, pulling his gaze from Lance. “Let’s get cleaned up.” Lance stares at Hunk for a second longer and nods, getting up. He places a hand on the healing pod, muttering something softly that Keith can’t catch before leaving.

Keith watches Lance go before turning to Hunk. “Sorry for not getting there in time,” he says before turning on his heel and walking out.

* * *

While Hunk is under, Lance manages to rope the rest of the paladins, Allura included, into attempting to make Hunk’s favourite foods for him to eat when he comes out. Unfortunately, Hunk never labelled any of the food and it’s somewhat of a disaster. Lance places Keith in charge of anything that needs slicing or chopping but Keith quickly realizes that wielding a knife to cook is nothing like using a knife in combat. Lance eyes the misshapen bits of food and sighs.

“It’s the thought that counts.”

When Hunk tumbles out of the pods, they present him with a platter of deformed dishes. Hunk sniffles and hugs them all anyway. It feels nice, until Keith remembers that Shiro isn’t with them. He grows silent after that, watching everyone else joke as Hunk tries their food. It’s weird not being singularly focused on Shiro anymore and Keith can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing.

Keith quietly excuses himself, muttering something about being tired and leaves. To his surprise, Pidge gets up and follows him out. She has to jog to keep up with him so Keith slows his pace down for her. They walk down a whole hallway in silence before Pidge speaks up. “We can’t have that happen again,” she says.

Keith drags a hand down his face. “I know,” he says quietly. “That could have been bad. It _was_ bad.”

“And it could have been worse,” Pidge agrees. She sighs. “We can’t just keep letting Lance and Hunk free planets and tackle outposts on their own while we look for Shiro and Matt. We’ve been too selfish, Keith.”

“I don’t want to give up on him,” Keith whispers.

Pidge darts in front of him, grabbing Keith by the arms, halting him in his tracks. Keith keeps his eyes trained on the floor. “I know,” she says. “I know it feels like giving up but it’s not, I promise.” Keith feels ashamed; shame for the time when he yelled at Pidge for wanting to leave the team to find her family and shame for letting Lance and Hunk carry the team lately. “But we can’t look for them while putting the universe at jeopardy and we absolutely can’t lose any more members of our team.” Pidge surges forward to envelope Keith in a tight hug. Keith hesitates before bringing his arms up to squeeze back. “We’ll find our family but let’s make sure we protect the family we have left, okay?”

Keith nods into her hair. It’s unfair that someone so young has to give him reassurance and to tell him to move forward. Keith squeezes tighter and makes a silent vow to do everything in his power to get Pidge back to her brother.

* * *

Keith can see Allura blaming herself for everything after Lotor takes the comet away from them. Keith does his best to alleviate the burden she’s placed on herself but Keith’s never been good at giving assurance and his mind’s still messed up from the alternate reality. Seeing Shiro’s face again, even unmarked and without the white hair, makes Keith’s heart ache. Keith wants nothing more than to drop everything to search the entire universe for him, to make sure no stone is unturned until he’s found but Allura’s right. They have to get the comet back.

Allura says something about finding Pidge and Hunk to task them with locating the comet and she tells Keith to get some rest. She leaves him alone on the bridge and once Keith is sure she’s out of earshot, he growls and punches the back of the Black chair in front of him.

“Woah there, samurai.”

Keith shuts his eyes. It _would_ be Lance. “I’m not in the mood to talk.”

He hears Lance hesitate as he walks up to him but then continues and places his hands on Keith’s shoulders. Keith’s eyes fly open but Lance pays no mind and manoeuvers Keith so he’s sitting on the floor in front of the helm. “We won’t talk then,” Lance says, sitting down behind him, hands still on Keith’s shoulders. He starts massaging Keith’s shoulders. “Is this fine?”

Keith nods. More than fine, really. He has no idea why Lance is doing this, why he even sought him out in the first place but he doesn’t want to question it. Part of him is scared that if he does, Lance will come to his senses and realize that he’s supposed to hate Keith and they’ll be back at square one. So instead, he relaxes into Lance’s touch as he works a particularly hard knot in his shoulders.

Keith is starting to doze off when Lance tsks. “I know you said no talking, but dude, you are _so_ tense. I know we’re in kind of the most stressful situation anyone’s ever been in but jeez.” He presses his thumbs into a knot and Keith sighs softly.

“Maybe I’ll just ask you to give me massages from now on, then,” Keith mumbles hazily. Lance’s fingers stop for a moment and it takes a second for Keith’s exhausted brain to catch up with what he said. He opens his mouth to try to rescind the comment but then Lance chuckles and starts moving again.

“Yeah, okay,” Lance says, laughing lightly. “Try not to fall asleep on me, though. I can’t carry you all the way back to your bedroom.”

Keith’s mouth quirks up of its own volition. “Weak.”

Lance punches Keith’s back lightly. “Fuck you man.”

“That’s what you get for not working out!” Keith turns around to pick up one of Lance’s arms and pokes at his bicep. “Look how spindly your arms are!”

Lance wrenches his arm out of Keith’s grasp with an offended gasp. “Excuse you! Just because I don’t train as much as you do, doesn’t mean I don’t work out!”

Keith snorts. “I’m pretty sure the only one with arms weaker than yours is Pidge and even _that’s_ debatable.”

“I try and do something nice and this is how I’m repaid!”

Keith grins at him and—woah. They’re practically nose to nose, which they’ve been before but only when they’re literally butting heads and arguing. They’re technically arguing now, sure, but it’s lighthearted and Lance is grinning right back at him. Keith can count the light freckles that kiss his cheeks and bridge of his nose and he accidentally lets his eyes drift to Lance’s mouth before wrenching them back to look Lance in the eye. As he does so, he sees Lance’s eyes flicking up to meet him as well and Keith’s heart leaps when he realizes that Lance was looking at his lips too.

Keith wants this so badly, wants to surge forward and kiss Lance senseless. He lets himself imagine it for a moment, pressing his chapped lips against Lance’s beautiful ones and smiling against Lance’s smile. He imagines sliding his hands onto Lance’s chest to feel his heartbeat and Lance weaving his fingers in Keith’s hair. He imagines burying his face in Lance’s neck, overwhelmed with emotions: embarrassment but also and mostly unabashed joy. Lance would laugh and hold Keith closer until they’re pressed up against each other and Lance would tell him about how long he’s wanted to do that. Caught up in his imagination, Keith starts to lean forward and Lance’s breath hitches. Keith closes his eyes and for a moment, he lets himself believe he can have all that he imagined.

Then Keith wrenches away and leaps to his feet. He thinks he hears Lance let out a soft sigh but he ignores it. “We should get some rest,” Keith says quickly. “It’s been a weird day and we need all the energy we can get to chase after Lotor and the comet.”

Lance slips his hands into his pockets and slowly gets up. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s go.”

They walk in silence back to their rooms, a foot of space between them. _I’ve made things weird_ , Keith realizes and he wants to crawl away in shame. When they reach Lance’s room, Lance raises a hand and Keith hopes he’s going to grab his shoulder but Lance just waves it. Keith waves back and Lance disappears into his room.

Keith drags himself into his own room and rests his head against the wall. It’s a good thing he didn’t kiss Lance; his emotions are a Molotov cocktail right now and he’s barely been able to keep himself from exploding (he actually hasn’t, Keith reminds himself). He isn’t in the right headspace to be throwing in the possibility of a new romantic relationship and it’s a distraction from the issues at hand.

The problem is, though, Keith wants a distraction. Lance has been a blessing and a gift from the gods for him, simultaneously grounding him and letting him let loose. It would be _so easy_ to throw himself at Lance and to use Lance as an emotional crutch. And Lance would let him, regardless of how Lance actually felt, because he cares about the team and would do anything to ensure its wellbeing. It wouldn’t be fair to Lance and Keith doesn’t want to put him in that position.

But as Keith tucks himself into bed and presses his fingers to his lips, he can’t help picking up where his imagination last stopped. He falls asleep to images of Lance’s warm eyes sparkling at him and the phantom feeling of Lance trailing his fingers along his jawline.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @bisilk on tumblr and @silkquake on twitter!


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